In July of 2023, I committed to this lil plan I had made. It was time to kill. Ironically, if you find yourself with literal "time to kill", I strongly suggest removing some grass from somewhere. It'll keep ya busy...
There are many ways to remove Bermudagrass:
Chemical - I honestly didn't consider it. Here I introduce a motif you'll find throughout my blog because it is extremely important to me. All of our lawns are connected, and spraying herbicide on one lawn results in those chemicals existing in others lawns, gardens, and water. I don't care how easy it is. It's gross and rude to every other living being we share this planet with to spray a chemical just for easy aesthetics.
"Sod" it - I could just scrape it off with a rented sod cutter, but this also removes that crucial topsoil. If I went this route, I would then need to come back in with topsoil. That felt silly. Also, I would then need to find out how to dispose of 550 ft2 of heavy ass sod. I think we all know if I'd gone that route, it would still be sitting in my yard somewhere, rotting away.
Ignore the problem - Scalp the crap out of the lawn, throw some weed barrier down, and go for it. I didn't want to do this, it felt like I would be fighting the bermudagrass forever if I did. Remember, that was a major anxiety of mine. So, no dice. This bed also bumps up to my driveway and is already a bit raised above the concrete, I knew if I built UP even a few more inches I'd have a hard time keeping everything in the yard.
Solarization - Solarization involves using clear tarps to use the greenhouse effect to our advantage. Cook that grass. It can take a few weeks to months in the hottest seasons. I allllmoostt went with this method, however some say it can get SO hot in there it destroys all existing microbes. I didn't want to do that! It also would have meant that I needed to buy lots of clear tarps that would probably be too brittle and fragile after this project to ever use again. What a waste.
Occultation - What a cool word, that's why I picked this one! Just kidding. Occultation is much like solarization, except you don't use clear tarps, you can use any ol' tarp. The heat and lack of sunlight kills the stuff underneath it.
Don't my tarps look SO GOOD?! They blew all over for the next two months, it was fun...
Occultation it is! I cobbled together tarps that I already owned and tarps I could order online. The tarps went down in July. Now, I don't know if you caught this important distinction. Occultation mercilessly murders grass, but it doesn't magically remove it from the soil. What will be left after two months under that tarp is dead grass and roots and stuff. Bermudagrass is extremely hearty (why do you think we all have it in our yards?), and I could not leave those roots down there. Every one that has survived WILL come back to avenge its family, and I simply could not have that. So in early September, it was time to begin The Removal.
Listen... That task broke me a little bit. With my lil plan in my head, I sat down on the ground with a podcast and some spiky tools and was like "OK, let's just start pulling!".
Two hours later I had managed to remove maybe a few square feet, and honestly, they weren't cleared well. I sat down on my porch, sweaty and sad, and cried a whole bunch. This is what I was afraid of! That I would START the project and then not be able to keep going! Now all my grass is dead, but I can't get it OUT! What have I DONE?!
My mom showed up, gave me a hug, and told me it wasn't going to be hard, that I hadn't made a mistake. It was just going to be a lot of work, and we know we can handle work. She unloaded a plethora of different pointy tools from her car and we sat down and started again. Her tools were WAY better than mine, that definitely helped. Having the right tools for a task can literally make the difference between success and full-scale meltdown, apparently. (these magic tools are basically close-pronged weed puller buddies. I ended up bending them, the grass was so tough).
This corner probably took me an hour...
By the end of day one, we had removed a small corner of the grass. We're here for a long time, not a good time (isn't that the saying?)! It actually wasn't bad. My fingers got sore, I was super dirty, and my lower back was hanging in the balance. And I got to hang out with my mom! And I had a lot of time. No need to rush this.
It took the entire month of September to get it all out, and I am grateful for the occasional help from my husband and my mom. I spent many hours out there getting dirty, talking on the phone or listening to music. Chatting up the buggies I met along the way. As we went, the grass at the far end of the yard had the audacity to come back to life, so I am extremely glad we chose to remove it. Another downside to taking a long time to work on this project is that the exposed soil is so exciting (and I've tilled up a bunch of seeds living down in that top soil) to baby plants that I actually ended up pulling crabgrass and other weeds out of the ground AGAIN before I planted. Keep those tarps down until it's time to plant people, learn from my mistake.
The dead grass we removed went into a wheelbarrow and got moved to a compost pile in my backyard, where my chickens did an incredible job of kicking it alllll over. I re-piled it and it's now where they lay their eggs, so that's cool. A new life for the icky grass. Next up- planting and mulching!
I was so glad to be done. BYE BYE BERMUDAGRASS!
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